I brought down the sky for you, but all you did was shrug.

Awkward scenario #2

The other day I took my lunch break once everybody had left the office. It involved a caramel macciato, subway and about 10 minutes of working out. I’m on a new workout routine and diet that basically prohibits me from eating a 2 litre of ice cream to myself while watching 90210. I finished up at work, ran a few errands, and went to meet up with a friend a few hours later. As soon as I sat down she looked at me and was like 'what the heck happened to the back of your sweater?!' I took off my sweater to find the entire back of it completely covered in dust and dirt. If I looked close enough I’m sure I would of found other random things stuck to it. I told her it must of been from leaving it on the floor at work. I believe you should always be honest, but sometimes it's okay to leave out some information from the entire story – never again will I wear a cotton white sweater and do 200 situps on my filthy office floor during my lunch break. 

I walked up to the front of my work the other day and found a huge sign staring me down that said “Caution falling ice" placed in front of the door. I looked up and saw huge chunks of ice that were the size of a entire leg hanging above the front of the door. I knew I should probably think this one over. Do these signs serve the same purpose as a waiver? Like, since you’re warning me that a giant icicle could puncture my skull in the next 10 seconds, ultimately being the death of me, does that mean I can't sue? And if that's so, can my job fire me if I decide today is not the day that I choose to die a slow, cold and painful death and just skip work altogether? Go back home and back to bed? Do you think they have a backup employee scheduled, just in case I'm not brave enough to run under the door? My only other option would be try and crawl through a window. Somehow I just don't think the police are going to buy my reasoning with that one though. Anyways, I stood there for about 90 seconds debating this. It was freezing, so I decided to leave it up to fate and take the chance. Plus it was 7:58, and dead or not, there was no way I was going to be late for work.

My best friend and I are trying out a new diet/workout routine together. I eat the worst food. I really do. I eat anything and everything that I can digest. Salt. Sugar! CAAARBS! and fat. Mmmm. If something has a high dose of all four in it then I’m a happy girl!! The diet that we’re doing doesn’t mean that we can’t eat any of that it just means we have to eat it in moderation. She has a pretty intense workout routine set up for us. Running up the 16 stairs to my office is my idea of a daily workout. I really don't think I understand what I've gotten myself in to. But I mean so far it’s going pretty good – I haven’t threatened to knock over a small child when they won’t share their ice cream cone with me, offered any of my prized possessions for salsa and chips and I haven’t looked at random pieces of cardboard, toy trucks, or plastic bottles and wonder what they’d taste like if I dipped them in ranch dressing and hot sauce. Then again, I’m only on day 3. I have a feeling that this is going to be a long 6 weeks. Bring on the cardboard. 

Last week I went and got lip injections. The injection is called juvederm. For those who don't know what Juvederm is.. well it's a smooth consistency gel made out of hyaluronic acid, it's a naturally occurring substance in your skin that helps to add volume and hydration. If I told you I didn't google it to find that description would you be impressed? Some girls want a puppy or a new purse.. I wanted lip injections, so that's what I got. My ex boyfriend was super against it. He said he saw too many girls with botchy, unattractive injections. I think we finally came to the understanding that he wouldn't get his massive neck tattoo that he loved the idea of, and I hated, and I wouldn't go plump up my pout. Seeing as I'm single now and do what I want, I decided to do what made sense to me - spend the money I saved for his christmas present on my lips and tickets to a concert this weekend. Super happy with both of my purchases!

LIPS!

Yesterday I went in for a touch up. The doctor who did my lips told me an interesting story before he stuck tiny needles filled with gel into my lips. He said a guy came in last week to get a chemical peel done on his face and the doctor noticed  a big chunk taken out of the side of his neck, all scraped up and scarred. He asked the guy what happened out of curiosity. Apparently this guy went on a $20,000 honeymoon to China. On the last day he decided he wanted to go shopping for some purses. He went into a purse store and while deciding between a couple of them, he opened up one of the purses to look inside and a rat the size of a dog jumped out at him and bit him. Wtf. He swore it was true. How traumatizing would that be?

Let me tell you, after that story I definitely feel confident about my choice of lips over a new purse. Just sayin'.

It's the weekend. Tomorrow I'm going to party like a rockstar.. hopfully with some rockstars. Or maybe I'll sleep in till dinner time and call it a night. 

Apparently I can't eat hot foods or makeout for 48 hours. It's cool, I'll settle for luke warm mashed potatoes and hand holding.. for now.