I realize that this looks like a regular cup of coffee but I can assure you that it's not. This is 7-11's new reese's pieces coffee which could be described as swallowing a little piece of heaven with each and every sip you take. Imagine falling asleep on a cloud, with a pillow made of marshmallows.. and finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow - it's better then that.
I think it's safe to say that my coffee hiatus has officially ended. I went from drinking about 5 cups of coffee a day to no coffee for 4 weeks - it was like weening a junkie off crack. I'm feeling pretty good about it though, half a cup every few days is helping curb the cravings. I no longer want to break mirrors and kick puppies when I don't get my morning, afternoon and nightly cup of caffeine crack. Not that I'd ever ACTUALLY kick a puppy, that's just cruel. Or break a mirror, seeing as I seem to still be working off my seven years of bad luck thanks to a mirror from the past that I don't recall breaking.
I'm on my flight to Toronto.
Of course I got stuck sitting next to an obnoxiously adorable couple who are showering each other with kisses, giggles and cutesy pet names that sound like something you'd eat rather then call a loved one. If I wasn't here I'm pretty sure they'd be licking each others faces, although I'm not sure they've even noticed that I'm sitting next to them, let alone blogging about them. They're obviously newly weds.. or members of the mile high club because there's no other explanation for how happy they are.. right? I'm not sure if I'm jealous because of the amount of affection gushing out of their pores every time they look at each other, or the fact that they got a bottle of red wine and haven't offered to share. I'm going to assume that it's the affection thing I'm envious over, but who knows, it does look like some fancy wine.
Last weekend I modelled in Edmonton Fashion Week. I try to have fun with whatever I'm doing and I'm pretty good at having a good time with any situation I'm in, but lately I haven't had any of those nights where you look back at a year from now and remember it as more then just another night out on the town. Saturday was one of those nights that I wouldn't need pictures or video's in order to remember it. It was without a doubt one of the most amazing nights I've had in months.
I met up with the lady who runs fashion week two years ago in hopes of getting to model for it. We chatted, I walked the runway, and I gave her copies of my modelling pictures. I remember exactly what she said. "You're such a pretty girl, it's too bad that you're not a few inchs taller, I'd stick to commercial modelling if I were you, you're not tall enough for the runway"
Well, no shit. Last time I checked I'm not 5'10 so I'm not expecting to walk the runways of Milan, but I didn't realize there was a height limit on all runway. A designer approached me to model for her newest collection for fashion week this year. Her stuff is trendy and fun and funky and there was no way I was going to turn it down. It was a long day. Hair, makeup, walk, sit, touchups, pictures, touchups - I love that kinda shit though. It's all worth it when the show starts about 10 hours later and you realize you're up next. It's one of those butterfly in your tummy moments, but the good kind. The kind of butterflies that motivate you to do the best that you possibly can as soon as you're given that chance. As soon as I stepped onto the stage I saw that lady sitting in the front row staring at me. We made eye contact for about five seconds before I strutted down the runway as though I'd never strut again, at least thats what I told myself I'd better be doing.
(click on pictures to make em' bigger!)
It's frustrating when people don't believe in you. When people knock you down. When people tell you that you don't have what it takes.. that you can't do something. I'm not a runway model and I'm quite sure I will never be walking the runways of Paris - just like most of the rest of the world won't be. The best part of doing the show wasn't the idea of proving anyone wrong, the best part wasn't even proving to myself that I could do it. The best part of the show was the entire experience - meeting some super rad new girl friends and being able to do something that I absolutely love doing with two of my closest girlfriends who I absolutely love. Having the chance to do something that not everybody gets to be a part of. Having one of those nights that I won't forget.
That being said, those 5 seconds of eye contact with that lady? Yeah, that was pretty satisfying as well.
After the show we headed to '100' which I'd never been to and would recommend going to if you haven't either. I have a feeling I'll be frequenting there often. They stuffed our faces with all sorts of delicious appetizers and then we headed over to Diesel where they hooked us up with bottle service and VIP alllll night long. I'm usually pretty out of place at Diesel to begin with, but we left our makeup on (good idea that we didn't try scrubbing it off before we went, the makeup they used was like.. super makeup. Brittney's face was stained pink for a soilid two days.) As soon as we walked in we got some confused stares, probably because we looked like we belonged in a three ringed circus on a tightrope and doing snazzy aerial moves rather then at a hip hop sorta club. We kinda looked like freaks. Actually no, we totally looked freaky, but I'd like to think it was the good kinda freak. The bad kinda freak was the guy who awkwardly stood in the corner all night long wearing sunglasses, a towel around his neck and a blinged out belt that was probably worth more than most of our cars. I'm pretty sure it was either Massari or Kayne, but it's still being questioned. Either way, this dude took wearing your sunglasses at night to a whoooole new level.
The whole night was wonderful, and I'm so thankful to of been a part of it.
I hate making excuses for people, but we all do it. Remember that guy that you exchanged numbers with at the bar? The one you didn't hear back from when you tried texting him to hangout? Maybe he didn't get your text. And when you texted him again and still didn't get a response? Well, maybe he left his cell in a cab and lost your number. You know that friend who didn't call you back after seeing your 7 missed calls and the two voicemails you left? Maybe their battery died and they actually didn't see it. Maybe they're in trouble or hurt. Remember that job that you applied for and really wanted and thought you'd be perfect for. Well, maybe your resume got lost in the mail and that's why you still haven't gotten the job. You know the friend who bailed on that important night out with you last minute because they had a 'family dinner' that they couldn't miss? Maybe those pictures of her with those 5 gorgeous guys at the nightclub that she's tagged with on facebook the next day are actually her brothers from another mother.
The truth is, that guy got your texts, he just didn't want to hangout with you. Your friend got all of your missed calls, but they were too selfish to take 5 minutes and call you back to let you know they're okay. The job didn't call you because regardless of how perfect you may of thought you were for it, they found someone who they thought was better. That friend who bailed on you? You're not as exciting as a group of good looking guys and she'll always choose more 'exciting' things over hanging out with you. If none of these people care about us as much as we care about them, then why do we keep defending them?
And you know what, maybe he really didn't get your text, but I wouldn't count on that.
I realized how often I defend people. Regardless of how much they've hurt me, I still believed they were good people. I think everybody has the capability of being a good person. Everyone makes mistakes no matter what type of person you are. What I also realized is making mistakes doesn't make you a bad person but I think how you handle the aftermath of the mistakes determines the type of person you are.
There's a few people who no matter what anyone says about them, I still talk about them in high regards because I believed they were good people. When I look back on how they reacted and the actions they took after what they'd done to hurt me, I realize that I was wrong. Without a doubt, I was wrong. I was wrong about that boy I dated. The person I fell for isn't who he is at all. He made me believe things that weren't true and decided to choose a lonely lifestyle that will follow him for the rest of his life - going from one pretty blonde to the next instead of being with someone who actually gave a shit about him for some crazy reason. He ruined our relationship and friendship over that. I was wrong about that girl who was one of my best friends, who was a part of our 'tripod' that I spent every weekend with for a solid two years. She freaked out over me hanging out with someone she 'didn't like'. She was always mad for a reason that wasn't fair to be mad over. To this day I don't know why these two girls weren't friends, nor do I care, I didn't think it was nessiscery to chose sides. She ruined our friendship over it. I was wrong about another one of my "best friends" - I was there for through every struggle she ever faced, I calmed her every time a boy broke her heart. She's never been there for me when I needed her and I realized she never will be. She ruined our friendship because of that. I was wrong about anyone who only calls me back when they need someone to bitch to, when they're upset and need a shoulder to cry on or wants to hangout when it's most convenient for them.
So now, when people mention these peoples names, I will no longer talk highly of them. I will no longer defend them by saying what they did was shitty but they're still good people because I don't believe that anymore. I'm not the type of person to talk smack about people, it's petty and pointless, so instead, I will say nothing at all. I believe that if you don't have anything good to say, you should't say anything at all - so I won't. I will just go on as though they never were a part of my life, because they aren't anymore, and never will be again.
You're way to exciting NOT to be friends with!
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