you're nobody until you're talked about.: it's like chasing the very last train when it's just too late.

Sometimes I wonder if sayings are actually true.

Like, can you actually die of bordeum? Or die of a broken heart? It seems so extreme, but if it wasn’t possible then why would people make up such a silly saying? If either is possible I think I may be in trouble. I’ve been sitting here for the past two hours. You know, just staring at my compter screen. Ate a bananna. Put on lipgloss. Restocked fridge with apple juice. Danced around the office listening to Carrie Underwood. I wish I was kidding. I’m not. Work’s so slow today. Is it lunchtime yet?

I’m cold. Im sitting here with the laptop on my lap because well, isn’t that the point of a tiny portible computer? You know how computers heat up when they're running? Well I’m hoping that warms me up. So far my three sweaters, coat, scarf and tea isn’t helping. Cmon laptop, I paid good money for you, do your job. Thanks.

So on Monday another season of "The Bachelor". 24 girls will go home rejected by their “dream guy”. I say dream guy very loosely. He's society's version of the perfect man, I suppose.

In the end, one girl will win, but is she really winning? And if she is, what is she even winning? A guy with a pretty face? Enough emotional baggage that he felt the need to apply for the bachelor in the first place? Possible anger issues, domestic violence lawsuits, a gambling and porn addiction? Who knows. Maybe he doesn’t get along with his mom. Really, who wants a guy who doesn’t love his mamma! Romance's based around the assumption that your life is magically going to fall into place now that this dream guy is in it never work out.

Once the camers stop rolling, the hometown dates, candlelight dinners and tropical vacations courtesy of ABC all end it's back to real life. In real life Mr. Perfection is just like you and I. He snores, he's exhausted after a long days work, he complains, get's cranky and frustrated over absolutely nothing at all. He can never fake a smile when you turn off the game and on gossip girl.

The relationship ends because although reality tv has some aspects of reality, it's not real life. Confrontations are staged. Drama and catfights are only encouraged when the producer knows it'll help ratings. Lust isn't enough to hold onto and the magical vacations and red carpet events will loose their novelty eventually.

The girl becomes a bit jaded and bitter - rewinding every scenario trying to figure out what went wrong, when things changed. What she could of done differently to keep things the same.

Why would you want that though? Nah, I don't want someone who's perfect. I don't want somebody indestructible. I don't want someone who has no flaws, faults or imperfections. I want someone who gets stressed but is level headed enough not to make drastic decisions without thinking them over. I want someone who gets scared but still tells me everything will be alright, even if deep down he's not sure it will be himself. I want someone who makes mistakes but when he sees how much i'm hurting, is strong enough to admit it and look at me and say he's sorry. I want someone who has struggles, stresses and fears but realizes and is thankful that I'll be there through it all - just like I expect him to be there for me. I want someone who believes there's more to life then temporary highs and a shiny new car. At the end of the day, no high or amount of money is going to text you goodnight and remind you how amazing and talented you are when you seem to forget. Yeah, no high is going to play with you hair until you fall asleep, or let you continue snoring, even though we both know it'll keep me up all night. Money won't hold your hand out in public, proud to be standing next to you. It won't appreciate your tight black pants and backwards hat, maybe I don't either, but you love them, so it makes them okay.

I want someone who doesn't give up when the going gets tough. I want someone who doesn't give up on his own life. I want someone who doesn't give up on me. I would of never given up on you.

A smart boy once told me "if somethings too good to be true, it's usually not true".

The sad part is, he has no idea how smart he really is. The sadder part, I didn't realize how true this saying actually is until it was far too late.